By the way...

honestly...is anyone still out there reading this??

Awful Awful Awful...

I must say.. my blog used to have avid readers...but since I got lazier and lazier ...or actually busier and busier with my life. I have not been updating this...which makes me feel bad.

With a new turn coming up..with getting quite sick and all. I'm starting to ponder about where I am with my life. I remember I never wanted to live above 30 since I was a child and after 19 years I still feel the same. Always had this zen , disassociate kind of personality. With 1 more year to go.. I should really think about what I want to do whilst approaching the age of life not so worthy of living..

Intercontinental Hotel Coffee Shop some sunday afternoon
A family of 3 enjoying their afternoon tea

Mother: What's with these suicides rates..what happened to the world...
Aged 10 Little Girl: Well ..i'm too scared to do anything like that...ever...but I guess if I had a choice ..I would never want to live when I reach 30...
Mother: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aged 10 Little Girl: Ermmm well maybe 30 something but definitely not after 40
Mother:Why would u say such a thing like that?
Aged 10 Little Girl: Well u get old..and you won't look good..and you can't do as many things in your life anymore ...like just have fun and stuff..
Mother: Well I'm almost 50 now..does that mean that my life is not worth living anymore???
Aged 10 Little Girl: Welll er.... no mother...he he he....

19 years later..the innocence is gone ..but the thoughts are generally the same..the only thing is that I wish to go back and have the same cake set with my mum. Things have changed so much for her...I just want to go back to that moment and live in it in loops.....